Comments on The Death Bed by Andy Peacock
- Sorry, but still too full of old, worn out cliches. "Xylophone ribcage", I mean, really. And the phrase "his fingers were inadequate"... huh? Should have started out in the ring, so that the readers wouldn't have to try to place why Marlon was being fed a water bottle and spitting out blood at first... only an ex-boxer like myself would have made an instant connection!
- Solid, man, very solid. I liked it very much and read it through three times. I like the rich color and texture of the imagery you use. I like the reference to hands and what they can do. With that in mind, I noticed that you have the siblings holding hands "as they walked the corridors". I wonder why Lauren is the only individual that sees the tender side of Marlon's hands; the only one who is not the recipient of the fighter's wrath.
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