Comments on Quality Bond by Charlie Fish
- Reminds me of a Finnish waitress near here who appears to break down into some sort of counselling mode when she's supposed to be waitressing. Desperately lonely.
- I love how this wraps up with confirmation that things are just as she percieves them. I think I'd like to see some movement while the letter is being written. The letter itself has the quality of building some character and there is enough to evoke some feeling, but just a little more of her life outseide the letter might help. That's about all I can come up with. And yes, this is a great idea for a story.
- The letter held me spellbound, as it seemed as if I were reading someones private business, so that was good. Poor thing! I felt quite a bit of sympathy for her, especially this line: "I know they are not, but sometimes I long for one of them to stop and say hello." Bless! Not sure if the letter was meant to have grammar issues in it as she is foreign, so haven't noted them down.
- The story is very interesting as it starts out with a letter. The character gives clues to her state of being, but does not give anything away, clever move there. I also like the way this part ended, it is a good segue to another page/chapter. Good write.
- There are many directions you could go from here, but I assume you already know where you're going. Eventually the reader would learn why she had to leave Finland? But I wasn't quite sure on one point. She put "To Whomever Reads This" at the top of her letter, but nothing on the outside of the envelope?
- Yep - I liked it. The letter sounded very authentic and summed up the loneliness off the big city. There were enough little mysteries to make me want to read on. I think this has the potential to be very good.
- Very believable letter. It certainly appealed to my voyeuristic nature! I liked it the glmipse of Anya's life and think it is worth buiding into a longer story.
- Author's comment: I conceived this story while volunteering for the Childline telephone counselling service. I thought an open-ended letter was a good way of symbolising the desperation of some of these children's loneliness. (If you're in the UK, under 19, and feeling lonely or desperate, call 0800 1111!)
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