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The First Circle
Professor Brugelbagel is the professor of Psychiatry and Sexology at the best medical school and hospital in the United States. He has the world's greatest collection of sex material in the basement of his home. He lives alone in a small, one-story house in the suburbs; his office is in the attic, he lives on the ground floor. He has trouble keeping his housekeepers though he pays them twice the going rate. He hardly talks to them. He fired several if he thought they were too curious about his basement collection.
He treats a few patients privately and reluctantly goes to the bank when the cash and checks in his wall safe overflow. He writes articles for medical journals and he writes books. The only time he stops working is to eat or sleep.
He was adopted as a very young baby by a childless couple that was strict, religious, and aggressive about any kind of sex. He taught himself to read when he was five years old. As he got older he began secretly to read about love, intimacy, sex. He never told his adopted parents about his interest in the mind, love, intimacy and sex. They were always telling him to stay away from dirty things like that. When he was a teenager he made a mistake. His parents allowed him to go to a movie they thought was safe. There were sex scenes in it and Boff came home very excited, sexually stimulated, and confused. He told his parents how he felt. His stepmother told her husband to beat those feelings out of him. He did.
He had a lonely childhood and adolescence, with isolated experiences of intimacy: He had a friend for a year, when he was twelve years old; then the friend moved away. He had several teachers who loved him. His step-mother showed him warmth only on special occasions. On freezing, stormy, dark winter mornings, before he went to school, she made him a treat: boiling hot cocoa made entirely with milk. Then she streaked instant coffee across the foamy top. She filled the cup, brimmingly, and served it with a smile.
He is absent-minded about personal things but totally organized in his work. He lives to work. He has no social life, no friends, and no hobbies. He works a minimum of twelve hours a day at the hospital. The only source of personal satisfaction in his life is helping his patients overcome their psychiatric and sexual problems. In the terminating session, the extremely sensitive ones might notice the shadow of a smile, hear a tiny hum.
He is twenty-nine years old when we first meet him, a professional success and a social failure. Then Babygirl showed up and she shook him to the depths of his being. He lost her, for thirteen years. Then he found her again. Who is she? This is her story - and his.
The request for a psychiatric consultation came from the pediatrician on duty and the professor's assistant took the call. "Listen, you must come down to the emergency room right away. There is a newborn baby girl who seems to have some kind of a sexual problem." When the psychiatrist didn't respond immediately, the pediatrician continued, saying, "She is physically normal. But I noticed that it touched its genitals and then it became quiet for a few seconds. Could it be masturbation or am I dreaming?"
The psychiatrist knew that all babies have sexually sensitive areas that include their genitals, anus, mouth, and earlobes. He said, "I'll have to see for myself."
He examined the baby and then observed it for half an hour and didn't notice anything unusual. He was beginning to think the doctor had imagined something when one of the baby's random movements brought her hand to her genitals. She became very quiet and had a peaceful look on her face for a number of seconds. Now he wondered if it was some kind of self-satisfaction. "This is a case for Professor Brugelbagel." He called and told him about the baby.
"Hold everything. I'll be right down." If what he thought was true then the baby girl would be the youngest infant reported who had masturbated to orgasm.
He had reported a case of a three-month-old male baby who had been able to bring himself to orgasm, without an ejaculation, of course. It was normal for all babies to touch themselves and to enjoy it. It was part of the self-discovery of normal growth and development. On the emergency ward the pediatrician told Dr. Brugelbagel that the baby girl was found abandoned in a shoebox on the steps of the hospital early that morning. He led the professor into the examining room and from the moment Boff saw the baby girl he became breathless. He felt an unknown excitement. The pediatrician left Boff alone in the room.
She was lying on the examining table, making some small movements of her arms and legs. Her eyes were open; she was staring in the direction of the ceiling light. When he moved closer to her she looked in his direction. He decided then that he would call her Babygirl until they found out who she was.
From time to time during the examination he hummed quietly, nodding his head rhythmically. He rubbed his hands together in a gesture of satisfaction and his body swayed slightly. He moved out of her sight. After a few moments her hand went down to her vagina. He moved into her field of vision. She stopped the touching.
He called in a male medical student and asked him to examine Babygirl. As he was examining her hand went down to her genitals. Her legs moved, her hips moved, and she shuddered. Dr. Brugelbagel thought: "She had an orgasm, by God."
He sent the student out of the room. He began to hum and Babygirl looked in his direction. He called in a nurse and told her to put Babygirl back in her crib. She did and the baby cried. He had a female nurse's aide pick up Babygirl and the reaction was the same as the one to the nurse. He asked a male doctor to pick up the baby and she lay quietly in his arms.
Before he left the emergency room he told the pediatrician to have her transferred to the children's ward. He emphasized that she not be restrained in touching herself.
She grew and developed normally, day by day, week by week. From time to time she explored herself, touched herself to orgasm. Summaries of her activities were reported to the professor. He visited her alone, every day, for a few minutes. They were both quiet during those times. Except when he hummed and she made little sounds. She never touched herself.
She was getting excellent treatment from the staff of the pediatrics department. At the beginning and end of his visit with his head nodding, he swayed, rubbed his hands, hummed.
Some months went by and Babygirl continued to grow and develop normally, still touching herself especially in the presence of males. She was not happy with females except with older, motherly women. Babygirl was most irritable and unmanageable when the hospital social worker came near her. This woman was correct in behavior but she was rigid and very religious. She was indifferent to Babygirl's rejection of her, but she was turned off by her open sexuality. She was very dedicated about finding adopting parents for Babygirl but was unsuccessful.
Boff was happy with his relationship to Babygirl and satisfied with the way his research was going. He was spending a half an hour with her every day, observing her scientifically. These half hours became the best part of his day, every day for seven days a week. He never touched her, but stood close enough so that she could see him clearly. When he was in her room she stopped all sexual activities. Once he was called out in middle of his visit to answer a phone call. She cried. The moment he came back in she stopped crying.
Always, at the end of his visit, he would stand next to her, making eye contact, nod his head rhythmically, sway a little, rub his hands gently together. And hum. After she made her sound he would step out of her visual field, shake his head as if to clear away some confusion. He was once again the professional. Then he left her.
The longer she stayed on the ward the more of a celebrity she became. Staff came from every department to see Babygirl. A few of them were sexually conflicted, disturbed or perverted. One or two tried to touch her and they were quickly caught and thrown off the ward, fired from the hospital. Because of the increasingly heavy traffic of the curiosity-seekers and the sick ones, it was clear that Babygirl must leave the hospital. There were two choices: adoption or Orphan Asylum.
The social worker had friends, an extremely religious, middle-aged, childless couple. She told them about Babygirl and they pressured her to let them adopt Babygirl. The social worker suggested this couple to the professor without telling him about their religious fanaticism. After a brief interview with the professor, he agreed that they could be foster parents but not adoptive ones.
Who was this couple? They married at a late age, both virgins, dedicated religionists. After they married the husband tried to have sex with his wife but he was impotent and she didn't permit any kind of penetration. For more than a year they tried to have sex and failed. They believed that fun sex was the instrument of the devil and from the moment they heard about Babygirl from the social worker they knew they had their calling: Save Babygirl.
The professor had interviewed them that afternoon; the following day he was going overseas to an international convention. He was making his first major report on Babygirl. The couple was pleasant, polite, cooperative. They agreed to all of his conditions. The social worker was to have the right to visit Babygirl whenever she wanted. They were to keep records. When Dr. B. would come back from his overseas convention he was to visit Babygirl every day and he was to have a half hour alone with her. They agreed. They signed all the forms with great respect. They smiled and nodded to God.
It was catastrophe for Boff and Babygirl. The social worker had done a terrible, unethical thing: she brought Babygirl the foster parents and showed her file to them. After she left with the file, the social worker was mugged, beaten and murdered. Babygirl's file was casually thrown into a garbage pail. There was no other record of her new family and address.
The foster parents read about the murder in the newspaper and saw it briefly on a local TV news program. They saw this as a gift from God. The professor was notified of this tragedy and he returned home immediately.
He was a wild man. For the first time in his life he was aggressively destructive. He threw things, broke things and cursed. Finally, he controlled himself. The police were called in. They searched for Babygirl. The professor searched for her. The staff of the ward went out to search for her. Nobody found anything.
Boff missed Babygirl terribly, but he managed to cover up his feelings. Within, he felt a vital part of him was lost and in its place was emptiness.
Babygirl? She was finally living in a house - but not a home. She had food, clothing and shelter but no warmth or love: no intimacy. And her sex needs? It was the mother who had the responsibility to stop Babygirl from touching herself. She was tough, fanatic. She tied Babygirl's hands but then Babygirl would rub her legs together. So she tied her legs apart, and her hands to the sides. Babygirl screamed for hours until she almost drove the father crazy. But not the mother.
The father felt a strong sexual attraction to Babygirl. This feeling at first frightened him and then he began to enjoy it. He fought with his wife about her cruel treatment of the baby. He freed Babygirl from her restraints and his wife was furious; she started to beat Babygirl more when her husband was not home. When the father became aware of the mother's incessant cruelty he sent his wife out of the house - for fresh air. From the moment his wife closed the door he went into a trance-like state. He went to the sleeping Babygirl, stood over her, looking down. She slept, peacefully. He was aroused, erect. He went to the toilet. He masturbated for the first time in his life. He had a toilet orgasm.
He became hysterical, crying, begging his God for forgiveness. He felt forgiven. He promised himself he would confess his sin to his wife. He didn't. He promised he would never be alone with Babygirl when she was sleeping. He broke his promise. He had his toilet orgasms.
Babygirl grew but the parental power struggle intensified. From time to time the father satisfied his needs. The mother physically harassed Babygirl when her husband was not home. The years passed. The more the mother punished and prayed over Babygirl the more fanatic the girl became. The mother and child were in a vicious destructive cycle that increasingly frustrated the father. Finally, there was relief and release.
The mother caught the father aroused and erect, standing over Babygirl's bed. He panicked and ran out of the house. The mother began to beat the sleeping girl. She wanted her to die. When she was exhausted she came out of her trance. She took the bleeding, badly hurt girl to the nearest hospital emergency room. She told the examining doctor that the child had fallen out of bed, but the doctor had no time for that. He had to save the child. The mother ran out of the hospital, out of Babygirl's life forever.
Babygirl's condition was critical, but she survived. Again, she had no identity. She was six years old when she was transferred to a home for abandoned children.
She had recovered physically but not emotionally and psychologically; she was a cripple. She would talk and make no sense. Or she would become withdrawn and retreat into a corner and hum quietly, becoming violent with anyone who came close to her. When she was not having these episodes she was seductive to the male children and male staff. The children called her "crazy," "prostitute," "sick." The female staff regularly beat her, especially when they caught her masturbating. Babygirl was stubborn and fought back until she was beaten into exhaustion.
Her behavior became more and more peculiar as the years passed. She laughed without reason; she seemed to be listening to voices when no one spoke to her. When everyone was serious she would laugh. When everyone was having fun she would suddenly be frightened. Her unprovoked rage reactions were only controlled when the staff locked her in the lightless broom closet under the stairs.
When she was ten years old she was beautiful of face and body, and moved with grace and style. And she was crazy. One day she got her first period and she panicked, thinking she was going to die. She escaped from the asylum and was gone four days. When she returned she was dirty, incoherent and no longer a virgin.
Since that time on she would have sudden attacks of anxiety, acting as if her life was being threatened. She began to sneak out of the institution and when she was found it was always in the company of males. On her return to the home she would become aggressive, destructive and violent. Then she was locked up, in darkness.
When she was thirteen years old she was beaten senseless and raped by a new man on the staff. The following day, battered, bloody and semi-conscious, she was found in an alley near the asylum. In the emergency room she recovered consciousness but she was completely crazy. The only understandable thing she said was her name. When the consulting psychiatrist heard her name he felt a shock of recognition. He had read about her in Professor Brugelbagel's articles in psychiatric journals. He called the professor who was overjoyed that she was alive. Then he hummed for the first time after thirteen years.
When he saw her in the emergency room he was shocked. She was bloody, battered and bandaged. She was muttering incoherently, straining against the thick straps of her straight jacket. Without thinking, he began to hum and she stopped still. When he stopped humming she became crazy again. He talked in a voice that was rhythmic, gentle, slow and caressing. From time to time he would hum briefly and she lay quietly. He transferred her to his psychiatric ward. The first circle was closed.
The Second Circle
During the first year she talked and acted crazy most of the time. She had periodic, unpredictable violent attacks starting with sudden screaming; she would cover her head with her arms as if protecting herself. Sometimes she tried to seduce any male near her. Only the Chief Nurse could come close to her. The Chief Nurse was middle-aged, average in height, solidly built with a full bosom. She had the aura of an earth mother, though she had never married, never had any children. All the patients on the ward loved her, because she was honest, dependable, competent, warm, loving - and a realistic disciplinarian.
Babygirl was treated with tranquillizers or by injection. She only took her medicine only from the male staff and the nurse. The medications slowed her down, but she still spoke nonsense. Sometimes she would be put in a padded cell, the psychiatric broom closet.
The first year he met her every day for a therapy session. From the moment she entered his office all her violent behavior would stop. She would often get up from her chair and wander aimlessly around the office. From time to time she would stop her restless behavior, stand over him, staring directly into his eyes. After she sat down, he would begin to speak quietly, gently, caressingly, rhythmically.
By the second year she no longer walked around the office restlessly, but she stopped talking; she sat in her chair staring straight ahead. Boff began talk about himself, about her, about her therapy. When the session was over, he was once again the professional. He would nod his head, sway, rub his hands together slowly, and he would hum. Then the doctor opened the door and Babygirl would leave.
During the second year there was a gradual elimination of her crazy behavior and all signs of sex disappeared. But she would become very fearful when she had to leave the locked ward. She only left it with the Chief Nurse.
The professor was satisfied with her progress though she was still not talking. He found someone who would help him, the Chief Nurse. Babygirl loved being with the Chief Nurse and loved listening to her talk about going to the beach. This relationship inspired the doctor to have the nurse talk to Babygirl in a bathing suit while in a Jacuzzi bath. The nurse agreed to do it, and Babygirl nodded assent.
The three of them went to the empty physiotherapy department where the Jacuzzi waited for them: full, bubbling, warm. The nurse told her to take off the bathrobe and climb into the pool and she panicked. The nurse understood immediately. She looked at Boff, looked at the door and he went outside, leaving the door partially open. Babygirl took off her robe and easily immersed herself into warm pool. She closed her eyes, smiled, opened them and looked at her friend. She spoke, "Yes."
The professor came back into the room, hoping to have a session with her. Babygirl became panicky and Boff fled. The nurse spoke to her in a quiet voice about her beach. Babygirl lay back in the tub, relaxed. For one hour there were perfect communications even though Babygirl didn't say a word. At the end of the hour she came out of the pool, dried herself, put on her bathrobe. She said, "I'm ready to go back."
From then on, she spoke normally with everyone except to the professor. He was happy with this positive addition to his patient's therapy. Now he had to get used to having help. He knew the nurse and he needed each other in order to succeed.
She was fifteen years old and beginning her third year of treatment. In her private sessions she was still quiet but she stayed seated for the entire hour. Then the breakthrough. Babygirl came to the session in a new dress that the nurse gave her. She wore no makeup, didn't comb her hair, did nothing to look or act more feminine. But her appearance triggered something in Boff. He looked at her and looked away. Then, he began to speak about his personal life. He talked on and on, never once looking at Babygirl.
She began to speak to him, quietly. She smiled and he smiled back. At the end of the session he had a strange thought: "Here I am, a forty-four year old man, feeling good with a fifteen year old girl!"
Babygirl understood what was happening to Boff. She said, "Yes," and left the room. She was making progress and he would succeed. In the following sessions he did the same thing, tell her about his personal life. She was understanding, supportive, with an occasional nod of her head.
Around this time Babygirl stopped the water treatment. The doctor agreed and the nurse was sorry. But they continued to meet formally and informally on the ward, and talked together. Like wanting to. Her older more experienced friend helped her improve her appearance. One day Babygirl came to the session looking more attractive than usual.
She had a flush on her cheeks and brightness in her eyes and she moved around in her chair much more than she ever did. Her hair was neatly combed and styled. He became confused but he had the answer. He was attracted to a woman for the first time in his adult life. His shouted thought was, "She's a teenager, for God's sake."
He forced himself to be very stiff and formal during the session. There was a hint of rejection in his behavior. Her reaction was immediate and very painful. She became withdrawn. From then on, the sessions were straight psychotherapy He felt surer of himself as a therapist.
And so it went, through the third year and into the fourth year. Her behavior was normal by any standards. The nurse gave Babygirl more responsibility for helping with ward chores; she was spending some of her free time with Babygirl. Babygirl wore clothes that were always pressed, and the colors always matched. She refused to wear any makeup yet there was no doubt she was a woman.
When sex was discussed on the ward a coldness would come over her. The patients were examined periodically by the ward doctors, but not Babygirl. She allowed no man to touch her. She agreed to being examined by a female doctor.
The nurse shared personal details about her life: she was almost married once but her boyfriend had gone to war and never came back. She had lived with several men but never found one she wanted to marry. When she was almost forty years old she decided to get pregnant without telling the father of the child. It was a difficult pregnancy and in the last few months she had high blood pressure and kidney complications. She lost the baby.
By the end of her fourth year of treatment Babygirl had found a home on the ward. The nurse and doctor were family to her. Her main problem was her inability to leave the ward without one of them being with her. The professor was a perfectionist. He wanted her to be completely cured so that he could finish the book he was writing. There were two unresolved problems: Her anxiety about leaving the ward, and her past sexuality.
Intimacy and sex were a double threat that he was unable to suppress or repress within himself. Babygirl had made no progress with her two problems. One day at the end of the fourth year he had a bad night and that morning he had forgotten to have breakfast. Babygirl was very uncooperative. He had raised the subject of sex. She had become angry, telling him, "Get off my back." Then she literally turned her back on him. He became confused, and desperate. She turned and faced him, crossing her legs, brushing her hair back from her forehead.
Now he was speaking with more confidence, as a person. He told her that she was the first one he had ever been close to and he felt that he was beginning to lose her. His voice cracked. Babygirl hummed. Boff heard it as the thunder which comes before the storm. He jumped up from his chair, swinging his arms around wildly and he knocked his glasses off his face. He froze. He could not see without them. He groped frantically, knocking things off his desktop. He went down on his knees, searching around on the floor. He found nothing. Standing up shakily, he looked around blindly.
Babygirl came to him, bent down and picked up his glasses and said, "I have what you are looking for." She gave him the glasses and their hands touched, their first intimate, physical contact. He said, "Thank you for giving me what I needed."
From then on she was free of all inhibitions and talked freely about her past sex life. She spoke calmly about the traumas of her past, her sexual excesses, leaving nothing out. She described the crazy years in detail. He sat quietly never taking his eyes off her face but the struggle with his emotions continued and he couldn't stop thinking about her as a woman.
She understood the growing closeness of her relationship with Boff, with no sexual thought. She was at peace with herself. She felt she had matured. Her repulsion of males disappeared and she allowed male physicians to examine her, but not internally.
She was the youngest leader of the patients: she took on more responsibilities for the housekeeping chores and in helping the staff run the ward. She was seventeen years old. Overcoming her fear of leaving the ward, she began to explore the hospital. She ran personal errands for the patients such as buying things in the canteen, earning small change in payment. She used the money to buy candy bars, magazines for adolescents, a comb and mirror set.
Babygirl often passed the entrance doors and saw the steps leading down into the street. She tried to go through the doors on several occasions but her anxiety turned to panic. She accepted this limitation, believing she would never be able to leave the hospital. She felt secure in her relationship to Boff, the Chief Nurse, the staff, and patients.
During the fifth year she continued to work with the doctor on her fear of leaving the hospital (but never on her fear of leaving him). He tried everything he knew and it didn't work. Towards the end of her fifth year there was an excursion to the Chief Nurse's beach, a place Babygirl had often imagined. She decided to make a major effort to break free of her fears. The time had come and she got ready: she packed her bag with a new bathing suit in it and when she came out of her room there was applause.
The patients and staff left the ward, Babygirl staying close to the nurse. When they reached the big doors she was in the middle of the group. On the top step she became panicky and fled back. The nurse took Babygirl back to the ward and then took the rest of the patients to the beach. Babygirl was sad.
Boff's housekeeper suddenly died. He knew he would have trouble finding a replacement and he tried to put this thought out of his mind as he went into his session with Babygirl. He couldn't concentrate. He became very sleepy and she asked if there was anything she could do. He took off his glasses and put them on the desk and fell asleep for the entire session.
She sat quietly for the entire hour and then stretched her muscles and made a humming sound. Boff opened his eyes, put on his glasses, nodded to her, and then he said without thinking: "Would you like to come home and live with me? I want you to be my housekeeper."
Babygirl nodded her approval even though she didn't know what kind of job he was offering her. Then they both began to laugh. He explained what happened to his housekeeper, and described the job to her. He asked her if she knew how to cook and she said she did though she had never cooked a meal in her life. He asked her if she knew how to shop, how to handle money and she said she did (in the safe environment of the hospital). The pay was excellent, the living conditions were more than adequate and she could do whatever she wanted with her free time.
He told her of his library and sex collection in the cellar and that it was off limits for her. She replied confidently that sex doesn't interest her. "There is one problem," she said. "I am too frightened to leave the hospital." Boff felt helpless and Babygirl had an idea. She said, "Maybe if you lent me a hand, I would be able to go out of the hospital." He said, "Okay. Let's do it together."
By the time they got to the lobby she was beginning to breathe hard - from the effort and from excitement. He stood coolly, waiting by the front doors. She was stuck three steps behind him. He moved towards her and reached out to take her arm but he was unable to touch her. She reached out to him, took him gently by the hand and led him outside and they made it all the way to the bottom. He said, "You see? I knew we could do it, together."
Back on the ward she told her friend the nurse about her job and what she just did. The Chief Nurse thought, "Is it safe for her to live with a single man, twenty-nine years older than she is? Her therapist?"
The nurse told her about her doubts and Babygirl said that she had no sexual feelings and trusted the doctor. The Chief Nurse said, "Let's bring it to the patients and staff, for their reaction." Babygirl agreed.
There was unanimous approval for her to leave the hospital to work for the professor and live with him. Babygirl went to the professor's office, knocked and walked in without waiting. He knew by the smile on her face that there was good news. Then he told her that he would have to consult with his colleagues and the hospital administration. He needed their approval that what he was proposing was morally and legally acceptable. Later that afternoon he called her to his office and told her that he got the okay. He told her to meet him with her things in half an hour, by the big doors. She did and when Boff showed up he made a clumsy half bow, one arm outstretched in the direction of the door. He said: "You come first." And she did.
The Third Circle
When she walked through the front door of Boff Brugelbagel's house she had the feeling that she had come home. She took over her duties and responsibilities as if she had been doing them all her life. She was a natural at cooking, cleaning, shopping, and handling money. She took driving lessons using Boff's car and easily passed the test. She didn't make any new friends, didn't go to the movies and she had no hobbies. She was satisfied working for Boff.
The professor never had a private secretary and Babygirl took on this job. It started with her letting the patients into the house. She was pleasant, agreeable, and they all liked her. She began to answer his office phone, to do his bookkeeping. He hated handling money and soon she was collecting his fees, writing receipts, and taking the money to the bank for deposit. As the months went by, Boff found himself smiling at her more often. She smiled back.
They never talked about the two touching incidents: the glasses, and by the big doors. Then there was another breakthrough. He asked her to make his morning cocoa and told her how he likes it: made with milk, sugar and some instant coffee sprinkled across the brimming, foamy top. She made it right, the first time. He said, "I see you know the way I like it." He smiled at her, taking off his fogged glasses to wipe them.
Whenever the professor flew off on a lecture trip or to a convention, she would make all his travel arrangements and hotel accommodations. She drove him to the airport and waited until his plane was airborne. Then she returned home to her regular schedule of duties. Babygirl never bothered the professor when he was seeing patients in his attic office. When he was writing she made sure that the house was very quiet. When he went down to the basement she was never curious to know what he was doing there.
He became more comfortable and trusting around her, opening the wall safe without bothering to hide the combination from her and she learned it. She knew he kept a key to the steel basement door in there.
Early one morning Boff had an erotic dream for the first time in his life and awakened with a shout and an erection. When she heard his cry she ran into his bedroom. He jumped out of bed and in doing so knocked his glasses off his nightstand. In panic he groped for them, but they weren't there.
Boff always slept naked and he was erect standing at the side of his bed. Babygirl stood watching Boff grope helplessly. She said, "I know what you are looking for and I'll give you what you want." She approached him, looking down. She felt some vague stirrings in her genital area. She reached down - and picked up his glasses. She put them on for him and as she did so her hands touched the sides of his head and his cheeks. Both felt the racing thrill of contact. After a moment's hesitation he adjusted the glasses. Then he turned his back on her and put on his bathrobe. He thanked her, and she accepted it, with a smile. She understood that her sexual awakening was part of the healthy transformation that she was going through. She also knew that she had to help Boff with what was happening to him but she didn't know how. She went to the kitchen to prepare his morning cocoa.
Doctor Boff Brugelbagel, the scientist, was calm as he got dressed. He knew it was important for him to rehabilitate himself but it was even more important to help Babygirl to achieve normal sexual functioning. On this day he was scheduled to fly to an international convention on Sexology, and he was to present Babygirl's case history to the international scientific world. Being away from home would give him some time to plan what to do about the growing intimacy and sexuality between them.
The professor came into the kitchen and greeted Babygirl with a big smile and a cheerful, "Good morning. I'm ready for a hot cup of you know what. Would you like to join me?" Babygirl replied with a smile of her own: "Yes, I would. But I don't like it as hot as you do." "You can have it any way you want.”
After breakfast she drove him to the airport, and waited for his plane to take off. She had a compelling need to get home but she was not sure why. She got home in a state of sexual excitement. She went to the wall safe and opened it. She took the key to the cellar, went to the steel door and opened it. At the bottom she stopped, looking around for something specific. Suddenly, her gaze became fixed at the far end of the long room, into a dark corner, partially covered by spider webs. She went there, gently pushed aside the spider webs. There were some dusty books. She pulled out the white leather-covered one: The White Book.
She felt the most powerful surge of sexual pleasure in her life. Her passion grew as she stroked the soft white leather. There was nothing written on the cover. She opened the book and her breathing became more rapid, her heart beat faster. She felt a stronger pulse of sexual stimulation. Nothing was written on the first page. Nothing on the second, the third. As she turned from blank page to blank page she was accelerating into a sexual surge that could only end in a climax. She reached the last page, closed the book. As she did she had a perfect orgasm.
She felt deeply relaxed, clear-minded and very sure of herself. She knew that this unique experience was related to Boff but she didn't know how. She had the inner peace and harmony that was vital for her being a whole person.
She put the book back in its place and stepped out of the dark corner. She pushed the spider webs back to their previous place. As she was going back upstairs she was aware that she had broken one of the house rules but she had no guilt feelings. She locked the cellar door, put the key back in the wall safe and locked that too. She would never go to her white book unless she was absolutely sure that he was on a plane flying out of the city. Every time the professor was safely on his way to a distant land Babygirl would return to the White Book. She felt compelled to page herself into having a perfect orgasm. Every time.
As the months went by Babygirl noticed small but significant changes in her figure. She was more attractive and moved more gracefully. Her face combined serenity and sexuality. She accepted these changes as part of her maturity. She wore no makeup, kept her hair simple but stylish, and wore simple clothing. Wherever she went women would stare at her and some men signaled their interest in her. If any man dared come too close the special look in her eyes wordlessly warned them off.
At home, breakfast was more leisurely, lingering. She talked about running the house, he talked about his work. He came home from work earlier and they ate supper together. They sat over a cup of coffee. No matter how hard he tried to be conservative, his positive feelings about her increased. Babygirl was contributing her share to the crescendo of their growing intimacies and sexuality. She began to make up his room from the moment he was out of bed and in his robe. He began polishing his glasses more when she was around.
She had had trouble sleeping the night before Boff was going overseas. Early that morning she awakened from a nightmare shouting. She had dreamed that something terrible had happened to the Professor. The shouting awakened the professor. He dressed quickly and found her in the kitchen. He went to her and without thinking, put his hand on her shoulder, in a calming gesture. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I'm thinking about canceling my trip." Her response was immediate and firm.
"Absolutely not. No way. You're going. These people have been waiting for you for more than two years." He took off his glasses, polished them, humming quietly. Then he replaced them, and sighed. "Okay. I'll go."
She finished preparing his breakfast and sat down to keep him company while he ate. They drank their cocoa together and then he had a second cup. They talked some more and time passed quickly. Suddenly, she became aware of the time. If they didn't hurry he would miss his plane. Babygirl ran out of the room and was soon back with his briefcase, travel documents and bags. She drove to the airport very quickly and Boff made his flight on time. He was rushed through the check-in procedure and then he ran to the departure gate. When he looked back she was gone.
She was off and running towards home the moment he had turned towards the departure gate. She had no time to wait for his plane to be airborne. She drove home at such a high speed that she almost had an accident, twice. She thought she would go out of her mind if she didn't get home to satisfy her need to get to the White Book.
She began undressing the moment she stepped inside the front door. She shrugged off her coat and kicked off her shoes at the entrance to the living room as she rushed to the wall safe. She clumsily took out the key. On the way to the steel door she struggled out of her blouse, skirt and underwear. She was naked. She opened the lock and ran down the steps two at a time. She got to the dark corner and ripped aside the spider webs. She lunged the White Book and snatched it off the shelf. She began a frenzied paging.
Boff's plane had developed engine trouble while still on the runway and the pilot announced that there would be a six hour delay until the new departure. Now Boff had time to get back home to Babygirl. He had to see her, to tell her the truth that would change both of their lives forever. He rushed into the terminal and called her to say that he was coming home, but he got no answer. He got scared, sure that something terrible had happened to her. He took a taxi home.
In the house he called her name and got no answer. Then he saw her coat lying on the floor. His heart skipped a beat when he saw the cellar door open and her clothes scattered around the entrance. In a trance of turmoil he ran down the cellar steps and then he saw her in the dark corner. He ran to her and then pulled up sharply: she was naked, furiously paging the White Book. The power and depth of his passion propelled him to join her. Babygirl was ready to climax when he got to her. One of his hands touched her hand, the other grasped the White Book.
They were struck by an unbearably painful force that threw them onto the floor. They were writhing in torture. She was suffering agonies but was able to cope with it. If she did not do something drastic in the next few seconds he would die. His screams and thrashing movements were getting weaker and weaker. She made an almost inhuman effort and wrenched free of his grip on her hand. Then she found the strength to rip the White Book out of his other hand. The torturing pain stopped.
She looked at Boff, sprawled on the floor like a broken doll. His skin was pale gray and his broken glasses were next to his head. She picked up his hand and held it in hers, warming it. She put it down gently and began to stroke his brow. She then began humming a lullaby. Then - he moved. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. She raised the upper part of his body and cradled him in her arms. She continued to hum her lullaby.
The color came back into his face and his breathing became regular. His eyelids opened and he saw her. Babygirl lowered Boff onto the floor and picked up the White Book and his broken glasses. She said softly, "Don't go away. I'll be right back." He nodded his agreement. She went to his bedroom where she took a spare pair of his glasses and his bathrobe; then went to her room and put on a robe. She went down to the cellar where she found Boff sitting up.
He had taken off his clothes and spread them out on the floor, in a makeshift bed.
She said, "We have plenty of time for that. When we do it, we'll do it right."
"You're the boss," he said. She helped him stand and put the robe on him. Then they hugged and rocked, kissed and caressed. She said that it was time for them to go to bed and then asked, "What do you want to do with the White Book?" He replied, "You're the boss." She threw it in the furnace.
The Fourth Circle
They went to bed. They made love. Then they had sex.
The Babygirl book was never published.
The Fifth Circle
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