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Dear teacher
Please excuse me the write but I have only one sane finger to pulse keys so
some things I can't write because they are in the top part. When you read
what terrible thing that happened to me you understand all.
The Last Weekend
The last weekend was horrible. I was thinking that I will die. I will
explain you it. On Saturday my parents went to Ikea.
They said – Paco, you look after your little sister Carmen.
I said – But today I meet with my friends and we play football.
They said – Paco, you forget the football, you look after your sister.
I said – but I already told it to my friends.
My father said - Paco, you listen to me.
And he was speaking and speaking about you can't do all that you want in the
life and the family is important and you have responsibility etc, and I said
– Ok ok, I look after Carmen.
Then they went out and I stayed with my sister. Carmen has three years and
she is very nice and very pretty and I like it but this day I didn't want
to stay with her.
Now I must admit something.
I lied to my parents when I said that I want to play football with my
friends. Yes, I know that this is bad and I feel myself bad, believe it
please, but I couldn't tell the true, it was impossible.
The true was this.
In my maths class there is a girl whose name is Teresa. She is very very
beautiful. Always I wanted to go out with her but I was fearsome to ask,
very. I told this to my friend Antonio and I said please not to tell Teresa
and he said ok. After the maths class Teresa went to me with her friend
Sandra.
Teresa said – Antonio said you want to speak with me.
I said – Er.
My face put itself like a tomato and Sandra laughed.
Teresa said – What do you want to tell me + question mark
I said – Er.
Sandra said – Let's go, Teresa, he is imbecil.
Teresa said – On Saturday I will go to the centre for coffee.
I said – Oh.
Sandra said – Why do you speak with this imbecil + question mark
Teresa said – Do you want to go too + question mark
I said – Yes.
Teresa gave me her telephone number and Sandra spun her eyes and she looked
at me like I was an insect, a cockroach maybe.
I didn't want to tell my parents because then they will start with the
questions and my father speaking and speaking about responsibility and
secure sex etc and I couldn't support that.
So now I had a big problem.
What I could do + question mark Three possibles. 1. Meet with Teresa and
with Carmen. 2. Invite Teresa to my house. 3. Telephone Teresa and say I
can't go. Quickly I saw that possible 3 was impossible because she won't
believe that I must look after Carmen and she will think this is excuse and
never she will speak to me. Also possible 1 was impossible because my
parents said I must stay at home with Carmen and if they discover that I
take her to the centre they can be angry and my father will speak more about
responsibility etc.
So, possible 2. I telephoned Teresa.
I said – I'm sorry but I must look after my little sister. Do you want to
come to my house for coffee + question mark
Teresa said -
I said – Teresa + question mark
Teresa said –
After a long time Teresa said – I'll come to your house, but I'll take
Sandra.
No no no, not Sandra, oh my God + exclamation mark
I said – ok.
They arrived and rang the bell. Trembling very much, I opened the door.
Teresa was too beautiful with a little pink blouse. Sandra had a black
T-shirt that said – DO NOT DISTURB. I'M ALREADY DISTURBED They entered.
Teresa said – Where is your sister + question mark
Sandra said – You see, he hasn't got a sister.
I said – She's in the living-room.
We went to the living-room where Carmen was on the floor with her bear. I
looked at Sandra but she didn't look at me.
Teresa said – Oh she is very pretty.
Then Teresa took up Carmen and started to kiss her, mua mua.
I was thinking – Lucky Carmen.
When we sat down on the sofa to drink the coffee Sandra sat down in the
middle. Now my head put itself blank completely and I didn't speak and they
didn't speak and nobody was speaking, only drinking the coffee and watching
Carmen play with her bear. Suddenly, Teresa's mobile rang and she answered
it. It was Ildefonso. All the girls like Ildefonso.
All the girls say – Oh Ildefonso + exclamation mark He is too sexy, he is
exactly same as Justin Timberlake.
I don't understand it. They are crazy. Ildefonso is too chulo, always with
the sunglasses and the little smile that says - Look, I'm too sexy, I'm
exactly same as Justin Timberlake. And he had Teresa's telephone number. And
she was speaking and laughing and laughing and speaking and she seemed
very happy to do these things.
I said to Sandra – Is Ildefonso Teresa's boyfriend + question mark
Sandra said – You are imbecil.
We didn't speak more, and I was listening to Teresa to see if she was his
girlfriend.
Then two things happened together.
First I heard the noise of something fall, and second I saw Carmen wasn't in
the living-room. I jumped and went out running and found Carmen in the next
room.
Disaster + exclamation mark
Carmen had broken my grandmother. She was dead and her dust was in a pot
that Carmen broke. Now my grandmother was everywhere, inclusive on my
sister. Then Carmen started to eat the dust.
I said – No, don't eat your grandmother + exclamation mark
Then I entered in panic mode.
I took up Carmen and ran to the bathroom and washed her face and hands,
then I ran to her room and changed her dress because it was covered in my
grandmother, then I ran to the living-room where Teresa was yet speaking on
the mobile and I threw Carmen to her and said – You look after her, and I
ran to the next room.
I said – Ok, Paco, stop, be calmed, no panic, relax yourself, don't worry be
happy. First you repair the pot, then you put your grandmother in the pot,
and so nobody knows what happened and your parents don't kill you.
I collected the pieces of pot and I found the glue Magic Touch. Now, another
problem. When I pulsed the tube the glue didn't exit. So I took the scissors
and I cut the other end of the tube, and then the glue exited. I put it on
two pieces of pot and they joined in one second, perfectly. I was so happy.
Then two things happened together.
First a lot of glue exited on my hands, and second Sandra came in the room.
Sandra said – We must go now.
Oh no, she was going to walk on my grandmother.
Without think, quickly, I put out my hand to stop her and it went on her
front part and my fingers became joined to DISTURB on her T- shirt in one
second, perfectly.
Sandra said – You pervertido, you take off yourself.
And she hit me, plaf.
It was impossible, I couldn't take my hand from her front part.
So she hit me again, plaf, and again, plaf, plaf. I put my other hand up to
protect myself and she hit it and our hands became joined in one second,
perfectly.
Now she became savage.
She was screaming and kicking me like I was a football and all the time I
was trying to pull her far from my grandmother. Then Teresa went in running.
Teresa said – What are you doing?
Sandra said – He is a pervertido, this imbecil.
I said – It's the Magic Touch.
Then I said – Don't walk on my grandmother.
Teresa looked at me like I was a pervertido and also completely crazy like a
goat. Finally, Teresa called a taxi and we all went to the hospital, to
Urgencias, and she called my parents and they went to Urgencias, too.
My mother said – Why was your hand on this girl's front part, Paco +
question mark
The doctor and everybody looked at me and my face put itself like a tomato.
I said – Because I didn't want her to walk on my grandmother.
The doctor and nurse looked at themselves like call the psychiatrist
quickly. So I explained everything.
Then I said – I'm very very very sorry.
Then two things happened together.
First my mother started crying, and second my father started speaking about
idiot sons without responsibility etc.
At last the doctor separated me from Sandra and my skin, and my parents took
me home.
THE END
PS. Probably you are asking – Why did Paco explain me all this + question
mark
I'll tell you.
My parents don't know yet that I failed English. Already they are angry with
me. I'm punished and I can't go out during the rest of my life. If they
discover that I failed, two things will happen together. First my father
will speak about I must work hard and that English is important, and second
they will kill me. So I worked hard and wrote this, only with one sane
finger to pulse the keys and use the dictionary. It has much merit, no +
question mark
So please x 100, can I pass English + question mark
PS. AGAIN. Teresa now is my girlfriend.
She said – Paco, you are too funny, you are exactly same as Mr Bean.
Fortunately, Teresa prefers Mr Bean to Justin Timberlake. Ha + exclamation
mark
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